Where I’m From”

I am from the shell of a pencil,

The bristles of a paintbrush,

And the rhythm of a sad song 

I am from the upstairs room of a “home”

Engraved with selfishness and hate 

I am from violent ocean waves,

The stormy, rigid clouds

Riddled with alarming, yet comforting flashes of light

Peering through the heavy rain and grey haze 

Followed by thunder, almost as if they’re in conversation,

Or dispute 

I am from lake trips in seemingly foreign lands

For the amount of time I have spent there is neither frequent, consistent, nor memorable 

All that seems to reminisce and remain imprinted in my mind is the water,

Always the water 

My bloodline bleeds Irish blood, colored eyes, and brunette hair 

With fiery red flexes in the midst 

I am from dysfunction and animosity 

My life appearing as a contradicting,

Never-ending game    

A cycle, as if everything repeats 

And everything becomes predictable 

From respect to those older than me 

And the people I care most about 

I grew to put them first 

Always before myself

I am from order, and composition 

Although as I grew up, I lost touch with this quality 

Everything always spinning

The world constantly revolving 

And not a moment of rest 

I am from the distant presence of faith

And the vague remembrance of scripture 

A time when I had no care in the world, and knew nothing of what self-worth meant

But had confidence in my stride, 

And my Sunday dress 

Ignorant bliss

I am from the loud motors of cars on the highways of Conway

The constant reminder of the world’s violence, 

Of its rage 

Through the media, and gossip 

I am from the forbidden fruit 

Curiosity kills

I am from the poisoned apple of my favorite childhood film 

Tainted trust is all I retained 

Kindness can not be trusted in materialistic form 

There is always a catch 

From the violence, 

The life changing decisions, 

And the struggle of what comes next 

Judgment is always next it seems 

I am from the depths of the ocean,

Constantly pondering at where I resign