Communications of love and building relationships have completely transformed in the past decades. Where there used to be love letters, heartfelt professions of devotion and creating flower garlands spelling out your lover’s name, there is now asking to hang out in Snapchat DMs, going to Chick Fil A for a date and being left on read through iMessage. There is significantly less effort when it comes to people connecting with their significant others in this era of technology and casual dating.

This can also be alluded to the rise of hookup culture, which is an acceptance of relationships between two individuals that is typically stripped of any romance or emotional bond and is dominantly sexual. Hookup culture is prevalent especially amongst teenagers and young adults— people that will both influence and lay down standards for future generations. 

While shopping at Walmart, I struck up a conversation with a nice man in his 70s, Bradley Kutcher.

“Back in my day, it would be a very serious thing to start dating someone. It was a commitment of love that necessitated communication and dedication to one another. Now I feel like kids just mess around with that and ruin [love],” Kutcher recounts. 

While inviting change and normalization of different approaches towards social interaction, this over-acceptance may contaminate the fruitful beauty of love, which is a psychological need and fulfillment for everyone regardless of differences. 

To combat negative effects of societal normalization, it is essential we start practicing ways with our loved ones who will help deepen a relationship. One should look for aspects in a partner that are past physical appearance and instead focus on reciprocation of energy with each other. When there is a mutual amount of time and effort put into a relationship, it opens so many more doors for romance to spread its wings. 

Some examples of putting in effort are surprising your significant other with a picnic by a lake or making the time to buy flowers (or pick them!) and put them in a brown paper wrapper. Another way is to take the time to write them a letter expressing how grateful you are to them for entering your life. Despite it seeming outdated or sappy, it really relays the message that you appreciate them and it strengthens your bond. 

Even then, in the end, it’s the little things that matter. So a random text out of nowhere saying “I love you” or opening their door whenever you guys get out of the car is meaningful and speaks louder than any grand gesture. 

“I dated a guy for two years,” senior Alyssa Chan reflects. “It didn’t work out, but the best thing that came out of the relationship were the romantic dates on the beach that he planned for us. It meant a lot to me that he made all that effort for me.”

Chivalry may not die as long as we start putting energy into our relationships! Albeit the relationship between you and another isn’t intended to be “romantic,” if you care about that person, show it. Make plans in advance. Communicate your feelings authentically. Show any way possible that you value them and are thankful for having them in your life. Remember, it’s the little things that matter.